Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i've created a new STD.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
