So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
