My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
where am i from again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
