I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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