i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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