11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize