So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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