Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His nipple licking is glorious
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