I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize