Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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