Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
