I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
