There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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