And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
