So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
