This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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