i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
