What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
