he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
