my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
A+ Viking dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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