If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
