3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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