u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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