found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
