if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
