I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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