2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
