Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
