Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
