this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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