I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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