jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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