i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
