Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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