I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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