Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
