I CAN MOONWALK!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
