I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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