i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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