i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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