Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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