Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
