My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
