in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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