did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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