that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize