Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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