I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize