Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
