To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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