i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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