We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
