would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You are a genius and a whore.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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