yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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