i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He shit in the fireplace
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
