everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
