You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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