I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
