I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
