I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
