Tell her she can't have a vagina
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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