Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
