the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
