So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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