Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
