i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
