now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
